I tried, when writing this, to avoid the patronising Cbeebies opening of 'Today, I've been thinking about Cannabis' or some such nonsense. Note the use of the word tried...
Today, I've been thinking about impressions. Impressions are weird. There is nothing in rational thought that can explain some of the impressions we get upon meeting somebody. And why is everyone always so quick to say 'Ohhh don't knock it till you've tried it', or 'Your instincts aren't always right'? For example...
A drooling twit of a 'human being', who uses a ten pound note to buy a newspaper and says "Keep da change" will almost certainly, in a shared, pre-existing schema, be judged to be a boundering fumble-bum (I'm not entirely sure that that's a word) who is more likely to give you the classic 'Duh?' look, when you mention existence, rather than spout off a little-known Poe-esque quote or make your brain bleed with confounding theories about wibbley-wobbley membranes surrounding the universe, projecting all existence as we know it into the world.
Now admittedly, there are a few flaws to the analysis of our fellow playing the role of 'Drooling Twit #1'. When they buy the newspaper (if our analysis proves to be valid, the newspaper in question has to be 'The Sun') and they allow the humble shopkeeper to keep the £9.68, or however much it is, they may have just had a Spartan attack of conscience and felt the need to give charitably to the shop. In which case I will gladly accept my null hypothesis on these matters and say 'Oh well, old boy, I am sorry for judging you'.
The point I am trying to make, albeit adrift in a mass of back-tracking and grammatical faux-pas (which I have yet to find), is that most of the time, our instinctive first impressions are right! Correct! Bonefide! Spot-on! On Target! Si Senor (with the little squiggle over the 'n'...I told you I was new to this)! Whatever you want to call it, they are it. It's evolutionary! We have adapted with the ability to make snap-shot judgements about others, so that we can tell if they be friend or foe. It makes sense. It's just about the only thing that does in this essay of a boring ramble, but that is besides the point. Most of our judgements are right, as harsh or pleasant as they may be.
Having said this there are 'a few provisos, a couple of quid-pro-quos'. (Disney's Aladdin, 1992; I'm so cool). I don't always trust my judgements as they can be wrong. The snake's strike doesn't always catch the mouse. The dart doesn't always hit the triple 20. The shaky hand of the alcoholic does not always deliver the sweet nectar to his foamy and spittle-soaked lips. Things go wrong. You may judge someone to be a really very pleasant person who's sunny disposition lights your way down a dark and lonely corridor (fetch a bucket). But but but but, they may turn out to be a vile 1920's silent movie villain with a hidden, pencil-thin moustache, a black cape with a red velvet lining and a fetish for tying helpless and pathetic women to a train track. Things can go wrong.
So, overall, I say, if you take anything from this asinine dribble, let it be this: don't be too hasty to dismiss your instincts. After all, they're there to do the job they do. A recent venture that happened in December 2009 was one in which I followed my instincts. That worked out superlatively perfectly... (:
Thankyou anyone who reads this, it's my first. Any comments and criticisms would be welcome. I have proof read it, hopefully there's no spooling mistales.